Candy Kirby

Writer. Editor. "Who Wore It Best?" poll addict.

Los Angeles, CA

Candy Kirby

Humor columnist for Redbook, eHow, Nickelodeon's NickMom, Disney's and HelloGiggles. Work also has frequently appeared in the comments sections of various esteemed online tabloids with gems such as, "FIRRRSSST LOOSERS!11!!"



Home is Where the Humor Is

The moment I grew a pregnancy-induced hair on my chin, I knew there was only one way to survive parenthood: with laughter. And sharp tweezers, apparently. So I veered slightly off-course from my television writing career to launch a family humor blog, The Laughing Stork, where I write about important parenting issues such as the physics behind gravity-defying baby poop.

10 Things Never to Say to a Stay-at-Home Mom

When the kids are older, do you think you'll get a real job? Since you have extra time on your hands, could you whip up a few dozen brownies for the bake sale tomorrow? I'm jealous. I wish my husband were rich so I wouldn't have to work either. I'm sure you're not the only one who's ever wasted money on a college degree.
Redbook Link to Story

Ron Burgundy’s Top 5 Excuses for Not Changing Diapers

Rumor has it that Ron Burgundy will have a baby in the Anchorman sequel, so we thought it would be appropriate to republish this…. Will Ferrell, who has three sons under the age of 7 with wife Viveca, revealed that he puts his foot down when it comes to dirty diapers. “I refuse to do it,” he told People Magazine at the Toronto International Film Festival.
The Laughing Stork Link to Story

10 Things I’ve Learned Since Becoming a Mom

With Miss Skye turning two months old, I thought I would reflect on the past eight weeks of mommyhood and share my infinite wisdom with all the mamas-to-be out there with this List o’ Lessons Learned thus far: There is no way to put this delicately: My vagina FREAKIN’ HURT after labor. People tell you how much contractions hurt.
The Laughing Stork Link to Story

10 Responses To Strangers Who Think It's Perfectly Acceptable to Grind Your Behind at Nightclubs

If there is anything I have learned from my time spent at nightclubs, it’s that you should never attempt to identify any foreign substances stuck to your shoes. Ignorance truly is bliss. Also: there is a subset of club-goers, typically of the male persuasion, who think it is perfectly acceptable to approach a dancing woman from the rear – having never exchanged so much as a word or a glance with her – and grind his genitals into her buttocks region.
HelloGiggles Link to Story

8 Ways That Pregnant Women Are Like Toddlers

When we ladies are with child, we often revert to acting like a small child (hey, blame it on the hormones!). Here are eight ways in which pregnant women are just like toddlers: Demands a snack RIGHT NOW! …then cries that the snack looks unappetizing a second later. Refuses to accept family’s help (or acknowledge that help is actually needed).
Pregnancy Humor Link to Story

Skye’s Law of Universal Gravity-Defying Poop

There is a popular story that Sir Isaac Newton was sitting under an apple tree, an apple fell on his head, and BOOM! He thought of the Universal Law of Gravitation. But not before screaming, “Damn! That freakin’ hurt!”. and plopping himself under a less ornery Sycamore tree. Not sure if I’ve ever mentioned this, but I actually consider myself a modern day Sir Isaac Newton — you can totally see it, right?
The Laughing Stork Link to Story

Toddlers & Tiaras Play-by-Play: “Where’d My Ni-Ni Goooooo?!”

:01 – The Le Maison de Paris (or, in proper French, La Maison) pageant director says we should expect to see lots of beautiful girls, beautiful faces, beautiful smiles.. and lots of happy little girls at the end of this pageant! :01 – Why is the Louisiana-based pageant called Le Maison de Paris? The pageant director explains: “So many people would like to see Paris… Louisiana, French, it goes together.
The Laughing Stork Link to Story

What Your Drink Says About You

As they say, you are what you drink. Or, you know, something like that.
The Laughing Stork Link to Story

Top 10 Ways Babies Resemble Drunk College Students

(Not that I know anything about being a drunk college student. Often regurgitate/spit up all over you if they drink too much. Able to chug without taking a breath for impressive amount of time.
The Laughing Stork Link to Story

7 Ways Romance Changes After Having Kids

August is Romance Awareness Month! So we’re dimming the lights, cracking open the wine and sighing to our spouse: “Remember how romantic we were before kids?”. Yes, children add many wonderful dimensions to our lives, but enhanced romance isn’t exactly one of them. So, how does the language of love change after having kids?

The Down (There) and Dirty

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been creepily lurking on…er, I mean, looking for information on…mom forums where brand-new-spankin’ mothers expressed their outrage about being clueless and unprepared when it came to the, um, after-effects of childbirth. That’s because some of those effects are unpleasant, embarrassing and, to be honest, totally forgotten within minutes, which is how the human race continues to live on.
The Laughing Stork Link to Story


Candy Kirby

A former television writer and humor columnist for outlets such as Redbook, Nickelodeon, HelloGiggles and Disney, Candy previously was a professional job hopper in Corporate America, having worked at a top public relations agency in New York City, as well as in brand management for the Fortune 50 Company, Boeing, in Seal Beach, Calif. She then took the next logical step in her marketing career to become a staff writer for the CBS daytime drama, “The Bold and the Beautiful,” where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines.

Candy has a Master of Science degree from Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism, just outside of Chicago. Born and raised in another major city, Mechanicsburg, Pa., Candy now resides in Los Angeles with Mr. Candy, their two young kids, and their ridiculously fluffy cats, Lucy, Lola and Larry.

Yes, Candy is her real name. No, she has never been a stripper, prostitute or Scottish Terrier. Can’t believe everything you see in the movies, people. Except that all telephone numbers begin with the digits 555. That’s true.

Candy loves to hear from friends and readers. Feel free to e-mail her at or call the hotline at 555-4321.



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